its been a month since i last spoke to him. and everything is kind of a jumble. i want to call but i don't know what to say. i find that particularly sad.
i rotate between bouts of anger, denial, sadness, mourning, being actually okay with the whole thing, and shock. its like i don't know what i should be feeling. i'm not sure if its been so long that i can't quite fathom the magnitude of the situation or its been so long coming that i've been ready for this
