not to be one of those people who like to glorify their high school days, but i really did have it good in high school. good grades, lots of extracurriculars, fantastically good times with fantastic people, motivated lifestyle, consistent exercise, healthy (ish) diet, and of course, the perfect boyfriend who was attentive to my every need, want, and stipulation.
since going to college, my life has eliminated every one of those things, except maybe the good times hahah. i haven't minded losing the perfect boyfriend. we long since have realized we were by no means perfect and while we still love each other, its good to be growing and maturing apart so we can become our separate persons. if its meant to be, we'll find our way back.
well, we're holding on a little tighter than that so i doubt we'll lose sight of each other anytime soon. but you know what i mean.
but this is good. so many times you see those couples that insist on clinging to each other like starfish on a searock and all they end up doing is sinking to the bottom of the ocean, with nothing to show for their college years but a crutch of a significant other and some algae that found their way onto the relationship for some reason or another. i am proud to say i am an independent womyn. HEAR ME ROAR.
kidding.
this independence is something i've cultivated, despite my inherently needy nature. after all, i do believe a REAL woman does what she needs to do, and if i need to be independent to adapt to life after prince charming, then i'm damn well going to be independent. nothing makes people run farther than a clingy bitch. yet people worship at the altar of I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, as our society greatly values this characteristic. i think its kind of lonely, but that might just be me.
most days i don't mind. most days i don't care, really.
i enjoy my single life and rarely slip into a rut of inequity induced moodiness. but recently its just in my face that EVERYONE has someone. i know, i know, "springtime, when a young man's attention turns for thoughts of love" or something of that sort. but this year it is making an exceptional appearance. people are falling in love and shacking up left and right!
i would like to say, first and foremost, that i love couples. i think they are the cutest thing in the world and when the right two people meet, its like their happiness combines to achieve synergy.
i am SUCH a business major.
but this year audrey is with matt. love them both and they are adorable together. and swedo's getting married to john this summer. not that any of this is new. but marisol is in a pretty recent relationship. my solid single wingwoman has recently landed and is taking a semi permanent lover. leaving me all alone-y. on my own-y.
even my previous hook up has taken up casually dating. my recent attempts to seduce him have ended in nothing but embarassment and ruined nights (and close to ruined friendships). my self destructive tendencies have been at an all time high.
at any rate, i just wanted to impress on the nonexistent readers out there that i am tired of being alone and that i too want to be part of the new boyfriend trend. i would like to hold hands and have butterflies in my tummy. i want to learn new things and stories with someone and make new memories. and all at the same time, i want something daringly, delightfully, and deliciously familiar. i want to know them and still be surprised. i want to talk for hours about things we've never discussed and i want to share in that comfortable silence because we can. i want to play at life and commit to loving.
and i guess that was just an extended way of saying, i want trey.
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